TOUGH LOVE

It seems, I can hardly flip through the television channels or pick up a newspaper without hearing or seeing the term: "tough love!" It appears to be the phrase du jour for anyone who fancies themselvs a pop-psychologist. I even read a headline the other day that stated that our president was using "tough love" on the participants of one situation or another.

According to Merriam-Webster Online, "tough love" is a noun meaning: "love or affectionate concern expressed in a stern or unsentimental manner (as through discipline) especially to promote responsible behavior."

Typically, "tough love" refers to helping a person battling addiction, not by enabling the behavior, but rather, by forcing them to face their problem squarely in the eye.

A coach who strongly disciplines his team members, yet genuinely likes and respects them, may also be said to be employing "tough love" tactics.

In the wrong hands, however, "tough love" boils down to nothing more than an excuse for abusive behavior.

"Tough love," can be, and is, useful in certain situations; BUT, if YOU are using it on EVERYONE in YOUR life ...THEY ARE NOT the problem!

Remember:

It Is Easier To Nurture A Child Than Repair An Adult!



Think About It!

THE SOLEMNITY OF THE SACRED HEART OF JESUS BEGINS THE YEAR FOR PRIESTS

SACRED HEART OF JESUS, I PLACE ALL MY TRUST IN YOU!

MAY THE MOST SACRED HEART OF JESUS BE ADORED, AND LOVED IN ALL THE TABERNACLES OF THE WORLD, UNTIL THE END OF TIME. AMEN

MAY THE MOST SACRED HEART OF JESUS BE PRAISED AND GLORIFIED NOW AND FOREVER. AMEN

Dear Lord,

We pray that the Blessed Mother wrap her mantle around your priests and through her intercession strengthen them for their ministry.

We pray that Mary will guide your priests to follow her own words:

"Do whatever He tells you (John 2:5).

May your priests have the heart of Saint Joseph, Mary's most chaste spouse.

May the Blessed Mother's own pierced heart inspire them to embrace all who suffer at the foot of the cross.

May your priests be holy, filled with the fire of your love, seeking nothing but your greater glory, and the salvation of souls.

Amen.

Saint John Vianney, Pray For Us.

For More Information On The YEAR FOR PRIESTS, Please Visit:

UNITED STATES CONFERENCE OF CATHOLIC BISHOPS, SECRETARIAT OF CLERGY, CONSECRATED LIFE AND VOCATIONS

THE COUNTRY PARSON

Frank A. Clark, of Elkhart, Iowa, ministered to tens of thousands of people in a unique way - via his popular newspaper cartoon: "The Country Parson."

In 1963, at the height of the cartoon's popularity, it was published in 79 American newspapers, although during its lifetime it was carried by over 200.

Mr. Clark took weighty ideas, treated them with gentle humor, and lightly poked fun at human foibles and weaknesses.

Each cartoon featured a single panel with an illustration, usually of the kindly parson himself (as drawn by Denny Neal), and an aphorism to make his readers think.

Decades later, these "mini-sermons" still speak to our hearts, minds, and souls.

Here are a few of my favorites:

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it.

Criticism like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots.

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child.

If you haven't time to help youngsters find the right way in life, somebody with more time will help them find the wrong way.

The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them.

We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't.

Sins are kinda like rabbits - turn a couple of 'em loose and the first thing you know there's a whole bunch of new ones.

A Bible that's falling apart usually belongs to a person who isn't.

Modern man is frantically trying to earn enough to buy things he's too busy to enjoy.

Why not upset the apple cart? If you don't, the apples will rot anyway.

A man's conscience, like a warning line on the highway, tells him what he shouldn't do / but it does not keep him from doing it.

I'd rather see folks doubt what's true than accept what isn't.

We're all generous, but with different things, like time, money, talent - criticism.

Which ones speak to YOUR heart, mind, and soul?

What are YOU going to do about it?

THE MOST HOLY ROSARY OF THE BLESSED VIRGIN MARY

"Love the Madonna and pray the rosary, for her rosary is the weapon against the evils of the world today." ~ St. Padre Pio ~



"My impression is that the Rosary is of the greatest value not only according to the words of Our Lady at Fátima, but according to the effects of the Rosary one sees throughout history. My impression is that Our Lady wanted to give ordinary people, who might not know how to pray, this simple method of getting closer to God." ~ Sister Lucia, one of the seers of Fátima ~

THE MYSTERIES AND PRAYERS OF THE ROSARY

"WE INTERRUPT OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING FOR THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE!"

DISCLAIMER: I am NOT an attorney; however, some things are just good old fashioned common sense! Should YOU find yourself in the following situation, SPEAK TO AN ATTORNEY BEFORE YOU SAY OR DO ANYTHING!

Apparently, when my aunt was applying for credit with banks, shopping shows, food catalogs, clothes catalogs, and sundry many others...she put me down on all the accounts as the person to contact when she could not be reached.

And, that is what they are now doing. Offering to "let me" settle my aunt's debt so I will not receive any more annoying telephone calls.

At the beginning of each telephone call they tell me that the call is an attempt to collect a debt, and that any information I may give them will be used to collect that debt. They then go on to say that I am not personally responsible for the debt (You've got that right!)

These calls are coming to my home...EVERY SINGLE DAY!

The gentleman who called this morning gave me the usual spiel. I told him that I am not in a position to settle the matter at this time. I explained that the will is in probate and until the probate judge rules, the bills cannot be paid.

He went on to explain that the interest would stop accruing on the loan if I PAID THE DEBT WITH MY OWN CREDIT CARD!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!

I told the gentleman that since he himself had told me in the beginning of the call that I WAS NOT PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEBT...that I would not be making it my responsibility by CHARGING IT TO MY OWN CREDIT CARD!

He tried to pressure me to take advantage of this one time only chance to settle the debt, and stop him from calling.

I again declined. He then asked if there was a probate attorney.

THIS IS ALWAYS THEIR NEXT QUESTION!

My answer is always the same: "Yes, there is, and I pay them out of my own pocket at the moment, and I do not give out their telephone number, nor do I advise them to speak to anyone without my consent, inasmuch as I am paying a very high hourly rate for their services."

It was a very civilized conversation; however, once again he tried to convince me to put the debt (this ONE $15,000.00) on my credit card. I told him I would be hanging up, and that once the probate matter was settled, the bills would be paid according to New York State Law.

He was still talking as I said good-bye and hung up the telephone!

The first thought that entered my mind was this: "How many people do these collectors get EACH AND EVERY DAY to take responsibility for another's debt, because, their minds are clouded by grief and, they just want to stop the constant telephone calls?!

Be careful out there!

If someone tries this trick on YOU, as it has been tried on me several times a week since my aunt passed...DON'T YOU LET THEM GET THE BETTER OF YOU!

Call an attorney and know your rights.

We have many freedoms and rights in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

DON'T LET ANYONE TAKE YOURS AWAY!

Take Care, And Love Each Other!!

WHOSE "ANGEL" WILL YOU BE?

You know well enough that Our Lord does not look so much at the greatness of our actions, nor even at their difficulty, but at the love with which we do them. ~ Saint Therese of Lisieux ~


Today, who needs YOU to be their "angel?"


We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another. ~ Luciano de Crescenzo ~


Today, who will YOU help to "fly?"

FINANCIAL vs SPIRITUAL RUIN

It is always amazing to me how two people from the same family can be SO completely different. Even the children I meet who are identical twins: "they laugh alike, they walk alike, at times they even talk alike..." and yet, there is ALWAYS something that distinguishes them one from the other...completely!

As I was praying the rosary yesterday morning, I flashed upon something that was written in an e-mail I received last year. Among other more hurtful things said in a series of e-mails, was this: "Grow up, you're an idiot!"

Of all things to come to mind, while I was praying the Glorious Mysteries of the Most Holy Rosary; but, there it was: my heart and soul kept flashing on that one word: "IDIOT!"

At 48 years old, I no longer fit the world's description of a child. However, in Christ's eyes and the eyes of our Heavenly Father, I am just that: their CHILD.

Just like YOU:

I Am A Child of God!

Apparently, according to some, I am the "Idiot" Child of God!

That puts me in good company. The prophets of the Old Testament are considered the predecessors of the "fools for Christ." The actual term: "fools for Christ" is attributed to Saint Paul. Saint Francis of Assisi, Saint Anthony, and Saint Benedict Joseph Labre were all famous "fools for Christ!"

The term "fools for Christ" refers to behavior including giving up worldly possessions, and employing shocking, unconventional means to challenge accepted social norms.

To be incredibly honest with you, I am probably teetering on the brink of financial ruin because of the added burden of the debts of my aunt, that I have been and must continue to pay, while the probate process runs it's course.

I guess I really am an "idiot," as my relative so boldly wrote; because, I believe myself to be a wealthy woman SPIRITUALLY; and, that means more to me than ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS WORLD!

Money, jewelry, houses, cars, jobs...THINGS...they come and go, in and out of our lives.

But, OUR SOUL IS ALWAYS THERE, OUR SOUL IS US, AND WILL BE US FOR ALL ETERNITY!

Being the "idiot" that I am, I would rather be financially ruined on earth in service to others...than spiritually ruined in Hell, because I lived my life in service to myself!


How about YOU?


Do YOU have more saved up in the "Bank" of Materialism?


OR,


Are all YOUR important assets in the "BANK" OF GOD?


Here is our reflection for today:


As long as YOU are still breathing, YOU can change the course of YOUR eternity!


But, when YOU die, it's simply too late to make a transfer of funds!


Only You can answer this question:


Do YOU need to transfer YOUR assets to the "BANK" OF GOD?


May God Bless You And Those You Love...And, Even Those You Don't!!

THE SOLEMNITY OF CORPUS CHRISTI

Eucharistic Miracles have been reported and confirmed for centuries. From the more famous: such as the Miracle of Saint Clare (1240 in Assisi, Italy) defending the convent against the Saracen soldiers; to, the more recent: the likeness of Christ crowned with thorns (2001 in Chiattakonam, India) appearing on the Sacred Host displayed in the monstrance during Adoration.

Here are two other examples across the centuries:



In the year 1345, King Casimar III the Great of Poland gave orders to build a church named Corpus Christi in honor of the Eucharistic miracle that was verified that same year. It had taken place in the village of Wawel, near Krakow. Some thieves broke into a little church (The Collegiate Church of All Saints), which was a short distance from Krakow. They forced their way into the tabernacle and stole the monstrance, which contained consecrated Hosts.

They got away, but when they figured out that the monstrance was not made of real gold, they threw it (including the Hosts) into the muddy marshland that was prevalent in the area. Priests from the church began a search, but they did not hold out much hope. When darkness fell, however, a mysterious light emanated from the spot where the treasure had been abandoned.

Bright flashes of light were visible for several kilometers. Frightened villagers approached the area and reported back to the Bishop of Krakow. The bishop called for three days of fasting and prayer. On the third day, he led a procession out to the marsh. There, they found the monstrance, and within it they found the Hosts, which were unbroken and were the source of the unusual lights. The people began to pray and to celebrate the miracle.

Annually on the occasion of the feast of Corpus Christi, the miracle is celebrated in the church of Corpus Christi in Krakow.

In 1948, in the monastery church of Rosano, Italy, another miracle occurred when the statue of the Sacred Heart began to bleed and weep:



From Bishop Luciano Giovanotti’s letter of
April 4, 1948:

“In the evening of April 4 1948, the first Sunday after Easter, during the chanting of vespers, people noticed for the first time that drops as if of blood were falling from the eyes of the statue."

In June of that year, another stunning and unexpected miracle occurred – the flow of blood. These events occurred repeatedly between 1948 and 1950 and were corroborated by many eyewitnesses, by the nuns themselves and particularly by the abbess, Mother Ildegarde Cabitza of holy memory.

In the monastery archives are preserved many sworn testimonies even of priests, preachers, and visitors, together with medical analyses of the blood, as well as finger towels and purificators soaked with blood. One of the most endearing testimonies is that of Monsignor Angelo Scapecchi, who later became Auxiliary Bishop of the Diocese of Arezzo. From the archives we learn of the investigation of the Visitator, Father Luigi Romoli, O.P., sent by the Holy Office, who personally interrogated all the nuns, imposing the strictest secrecy on the community.

Subsequently, on November 14, 1950, the Holy Office ordered the statue to be removed so as to keep it in a secret location. It was brought back to Rosano in 1952. The community of nuns of Rosano lived these events with intimate joy and great devotion but with great reserve; so much so that, as we learn from the chronicles, they were not distracted from their daily duties. On the contrary, they lived their monastic life even more intensely according to the Benedictine motto: Ora et Labora.

The weeping and the flow of blood were considered inexplicable from a natural and human point of view. Bishop Giovanni Giorgis, saw in these events of Rosano an appeal from the Lord "to fidelity, reparation and prayer."

"[…] Beloved brothers and sisters, with great devotion and pride let us look back on the events that took place in our diocese fifty years ago and see them as signs of the Lord’s benevolence and love and an invitation to a serious and profound reflection.

With great ardor let us joyfully renew our devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. And as we receive this message, let us ask for the gift of an ever deeper conversion to His love, for the grace of an increase of apostolic fervor, as well as for the gift of numerous holy vocations to the priesthood and religious life, so as to make Christ the Heart of the world.

Looking at the Heart of Jesus, we will joyfully draw life from the fountain of salvation!”

These Stories Of Eucharistic Miracles And Others Throughout The Centuries May Be Found At: THE REAL PRESENCE OF CHRIST IN THE EUCHARIST

ANIMA CHRISTI

Soul of Christ, sanctify me.

Body of Christ, save me.

Blood of Christ, inebriate me.

Water from the side of Christ, wash me.

Passion of Christ, strengthen me.

O good Jesus, hear me.

Within your wounds conceal me.

Do not permit me to be parted from you.

From the evil foe protect me.

At the hour of my death call me.

And bid me come to you, to praise you with all your saints forever and ever.

Amen.

DO, RE, MI, FA, SO, LA, TI, DO!

On March 23, 2009, more than 200 dancers were performing their version of "Do Re Mi", in the Central Station of Antwerp. With just two rehearsals they created this amazing stunt! It was a promotion for a Belgian television program. They are looking for someone to play the leading role in the musical "The Sound of Music".

Amazing what 200 people can do with just two rehearsals when they come together for a common cause!

It is the same in our lives of faithful service.

We have all heard the phrase: "Many hands make light work."

What is it YOU are being called to DO FOR GOD??

WHO can help YOU?

Have YOU asked them, yet?

What are YOU waiting for?

The time is NOW, the world needs YOUR Ideas... YOUR Hopes...YOUR Dreams!

If God calls you to it, He will guide you through it!

Have FAITH: in God...in YOURSELF...and, in God's Trust In YOU!

TAKING IT TO THE CROSS

There is a wonderful older gentleman in our parish, who prays the ENTIRE rosary every morning...ALL the mysteries...before he comes to open the church, and prepare for the liturgy each day. He and his wife attend the senior's club at our parish, and on Wednesday another senior club elsewhere. After the Wednesday meeting they bring bags of non perishables to the parish food pantry. They are true role models for the rest of us in our parish family.

I can't pray the WHOLE rosary every day but I do pray the mysteries that were suggested by Pope John Paul II for each day. On any given day, I am also in the middle of at least one Novena for someone's intentions, I pray the Chaplet of Saint Michael, speak to God about whatever is on my heart, close my mouth to allow my soul stirrings to speak to God directly, and of course, stop everything and listen.

LISTENING...it is the most important part of ANY relationship...and, the MOST IMPORTANT PART OF OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD!

As I was praying the Sorrowful Mysteries this morning, my heart was led to meditate on the last day of my aunt's life. I received the monthly mailing from Hospice yesterday. It seems I am right on target with my grief and mourning. Seems that even when you think you are prepared for a death, there is still some shock when it actually occurs. Then, you go into a sort of automatic pilot to get the things done that need to be done.

For me, working in the church, it was not only the ritual of my aunt's funeral and burial that I was involved in at the time, but the ritual of Easter and the Easter Sacraments, the ritual of First Holy Communion for our Level 2 boys and girls, the ritual of End-of-Year Gatherings, Meetings, and Potluck Dinners for the rest of our program, and the lesser ritual of concluding one instructional year, and preparing for the next. There wasn't a whole lot of down time.

The down time is beginning, now, and I have more time to think, question, and second guess myself. Years ago, in my other parish, I had been trained as a bereavement counselor. One of the handouts was about the stages of grief built upon the original Kubler-Ross model of 1969 but with an added dimension of hope after the pain. I googled this SEVEN step model and found that I am right on track...lucky me.

Anyway, as I was praying through the Sorrowful Mysteries this morning I flashed back to the last day of my aunt's life...Good Friday, April 10, 2009:

My older son was home from work that day, so the two of us got up early and went to the hospital. It was very fitting that it was my older son who joined my aunt and I for our last prayers together. You see, he was born on my aunt's birthday in 1986. When he was little, I would celebrate Auntie Dee's birthday and my son's together. My favorite picture is from my son's second birthday...boy, did he LOVE cars. At the time, Baskin-Robbins made a car cake. I bought two that year, one for my son and one for Auntie Dee.

Apparently, it meant a great deal to my aunt that Stephen was born on HER birthday. As I was going through papers to make sure I could keep ALL the important bills up-to-date while probate is ongoing, I found a complete set of my son's pictures from birth to high school graduation. Auntie Dee did not have a complete set of anyone else's pictures not EVEN my younger son which I HAD given to her...ONLY her great-nephew born on her birthday.

I guess I should have realized long before that how much he meant to her...after she had driven into the front of the garage (which my husband repaired) it was my older son who received the car when she gave up her license around 2002. He was too young at the time to drive because I made him wait until he turned 18 to get his license. But, when he did, it was my aunt who had given him his first car...and a sturdy one at that...which made me very happy. I NEVER want a repeat of the tragedy of my brother!

Wow, God has put a great deal on my heart to say, today...back to the last day of my aunt's life:

My son and I arrived early at the hospital. The doctor had increased the morphine and decreased the interval time so my aunt did not seem to be in as much pain as she had on Holy Thursday. I knew that the sense of hearing is the last to go so I greeted my aunt and began to tell her how sorry I was that she was suffering so very much. I told her that I loved her and that they were going to stop the antibiotics, because even in mega doses they were not strong enough to heal her. I told her it was time to look for the light (is there a light, I don't know...but I do know Jesus IS the light) and to find Jesus and let him take her in His loving arms...there she would find peace.

Overcome, I retreated to the hall just outside her door, where my son was watching and waiting, holding my pocketbook and jacket. I sobbed as quietly as I could so my aunt would not hear and then, I returned to pray with or maybe more precisely over her.

I began with the Our Father, the Hail Mary, and the Glory Be. Then, I proceeded to ask different saints to join in support of us. Because, she loved him so, and because he is the patron of a peaceful death, I asked Saint Joseph to help my aunt cross over. I then went down the line of saints that are familiar with my all too frequent requests: St. Peter (the keeper of the Keys), St. Frances Cabrini (my family's patron), St. Anthony, St. Jude (patron of lost causes), St. Therese, and on and on, down to the lesser members of the Communion of Saints: my dad (whom my aunt spoke about often with respect and admiration), my brother, my aunt's brothers, and my grandparents and hers. I asked them all to lead my aunt to heaven's gate and to stay with her and help her adjust to her new way of being.

Several times, I retreated to the hall, so my aunt would not hear my sobs. I wanted her death to go more easily than her life. Through the entire time I prayed, my aunt made little noises. I KNOW IN MY HEART, SHE HEARD AND UNDERSTOOD RIGHT TO THE VERY END. I stayed with her and prayed for hours. A little after noon, the director of hospice came to meet me and discuss my aunt's future care. She needed some papers I did not have with me and so, my son and I left to retrieve them from home.

When we returned, I mentioned to my son that the long walk to my aunt's room was like the green mile. I told him, I hoped we would find a miracle when we got to Auntie Dee's room: that she would be sitting up eating lunch, asking how her beloved cats were. This was my son's first up front and personal experience with dying. He was in a sort of shock all his own just watching and listening to everything I was praying, saying, and doing. He just looked at me...we both knew this was real life NOT a fairy tale.

When we got to the room, we could not go in right away. My aunt was being cleaned, her bowels had let go. The nurses were dressed in what I can only describe as haz-mat gear for this cleaning task. The doctor and the hospice director came to speak with my son and I in the empty room across the hall. The doctor again told me how sorry he was, but, there was no hope. We enrolled my aunt in hospice and when the nurses were done I took up my place perched on the windowsill at the foot of my aunt's bed and continued praying.

I kept telling my aunt over and over again that she would find peace in Christ's loving arms! I told her to look for my Uncle Chick whom every weekend, when he was alive, would go visit my aunt and grandfather and do chores around the house for them, when we all still lived in Queens. I told her to look for Uncle Patsy, whom I also remembered would visit as much as he could. I went down the line of her brothers, her mother, father, her grandmother, who lived with them while she was growing up. I told her to look for Whitey, the cat she had when I was a little girl and the two Gingers (yes, I know that animals do not have the same souls as humans...but, I don't know who will greet us in heaven)!

As I spoke, Auntie Dee would make noises, I would move to her side, I could tell she was trying to tell me something...but no words came out.

IT WAS HEARTBREAKING.

On Ash Wednesday, my husband and I had brought ashes to my aunt. During Lent, my husband brought communion to Auntie Dee every Saturday after the Vigil Mass. The three of us, together, began this past Lenten Season with prayer and ritual. At 2:30PM, I left my aunt's bedside because I knew there was something else I needed to do for her.

My son and I went to church for the Good Friday service and Veneration of the Cross. When it was my turn to bow before the cross to venerate, I brought this prayer to my Lord:

"Lord Jesus, I bring to the foot of Your Cross the immortal soul of my aunt, Dora Grottano. Please forgive her, her sins, grant her a more peaceful death, and welcome her into Your loving arms in Paradise."

It was the very next day at 8:34AM, as I was preparing to return to the hospital that the call came: Auntie Dee had passed peacefully, earlier that morning.


Prayers...soul stirrings...heart ramblings...this is the way we forge relationship with our Creator, His Beloved Son, and our Advocate, the Holy Spirit.


And, when we take ALL of it to the Cross, we cannot fail!


What is on YOUR heart and soul today?


What is confounding YOU in YOUR life?


What pain do YOU need to heal?


What do YOU need to take to the Cross today?

SEVEN STAGES OF GRIEF

OLD BARNS AND OLD PEOPLE

I received this in my e-mail last night. I don't know from where it originated...but, it touched me enough to share it today with YOU!




A stranger came by the other day with an offer that set me to thinking. He wanted to buy the old barn that sits out by the highway. I told him right off he was crazy. He was a city type, you could tell by his clothes, his car, his hands, and the way he talked. He said he was driving by and saw that beautiful barn sitting out in the tall grass and wanted to know if it was for sale. I told him he had a funny idea of beauty.





Sure, it was a handsome building in its day. But then, there's been a lot of winters passed with their snow and ice and howling wind. The summer sun's beat down on that old barn till all the paint's gone, and the wood has turned silver gray. Now the old building leans a good deal, looking kind of tired. Yet, that fellow called it beautiful.





That set me to thinking. I walked out to the field and just stood there, gazing at that old barn. The stranger said he planned to use the lumber to line the walls of his den in a new country home he's building down the road. He said you couldn't get paint that beautiful. Only years of standing in the weather, bearing the storms and scorching sun, only that can produce beautiful barn wood.





It came to me then. We're a lot like that, you and I. Only it's on the inside that the beauty grows with us. Sure we turn silver gray too...and lean a bit more than we did when we were young and full of sap. But the Good Lord knows what He's doing. And as the years pass He's busy using the hard weather of our lives, the dry spells and the stormy seasons to do a job of beautifying our souls that nothing else can produce. And to think how often folks holler because they want life easy!





They took the old barn down today and hauled it away to beautify a rich man's house. And I reckon someday you and I'll be hauled off to Heaven to take on whatever chores the Good Lord has for us on the Great Sky Ranch.





And I suspect we'll be more beautiful then for the seasons we've been through here...and just maybe even add a bit of beauty to our Father's house.





May there be peace within you today. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.





And...I do sincerely Thank God for my wonderful friends who care about me even though I show signs of weathering!